War Is Over (If You Want It) 

 First I will say the title of this post is so not what you may think it is about. Stay with me until the end and you will see where I am going with it. 

So much has happened since my mother was diagnosed almost 15 months ago with Alzheimer’s disease. Another year of firsts, too many to count. But so far this has been the year: 

My mother didn’t recognize me, like at all. Total blank. She looked at me with the pensive look like “this young lady looks so sweet and kind waving at me from across the room” kind of look. Luckily she came back to me when I called out “Mima.” 

My mother forgot my birthday.  Sounds so totally selfish on my part, but a necessary bump in the road I was meant to experience and handle. 

Today, my mother forgot my kids entirely. She actually jumped back in horror when my 7 year  old daughter ran to her screaming “Abuela Happy Birthday!”  Thank goodness my daughter is so resilient and happy. Let her brightness shine on. 

Today I took mom out to celebrate another year on this planet. Another year of changes in our relationship. Another year I will survive, because she needs me to. Another year I will treasure the art and gift of remembering. 

After dinner we crossed the street and went for dessert at Strawberry Fields in Morristown. For so long I felt like a fighter in life, and now I am learning I am a survivor. “War is Over, If You Want It.” This is the year I commit to finding peace in it all. 

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